As David and I were discussing whether to go to the park today, thoughts of frustration and anger came over us as we thought about our last visit to the park. It was last Saturday, when we decided to venture out (now that springtime weather was beginning to creep in) and take Josiah to our favorite park so that he can finally run around and play. Needless to say, we had just got to the playground area and were walking hand in hand up the ramp and through the playground equipment re-introducing Josiah to the different slides, tic-tac-toe games, climbing equipment and all that good stuff. We could tell he was a little nervous as he watched alot of older kids playing tag, running around and feeling very comfortable with the playground. We finally settled on a steering wheel that "imaginatively speaking" can steer the playground :)
Josiah was loving the wheel, smiling and laughing as he turned it around and around...I had my camera with me and was just about to snap a kodak moment shot when this older little boy (looked about 5 or 6) ran passed me and pushed his way between David and Josiah, shoving them both to get to the steering wheel Josiah was playing with. He shoved Josiah out of the way stating in an angry voice "HEY, THIS IS MY STEERING WHEEL!" Needless to say, We were all shocked! David and I looked at eachother in amazement-I mean, the nerve this kid had to approach and shove not just a 1-year old but his parents too! David immediately then told the little boy something along the lines of "excuse me, that was not very nice. Our son was playing with that steering wheel and it is not yours, it belongs to the playground and anybody can play with it so you need to step back because he was here first". The kid just stared at my husband and kept on turning the wheel, ignoring what was just said. I was feeling a bit nervous, for both the kid and my husband who is a justice-seeker! Again, David and I looked at eachother in more disbelief then we glanced over at Josiah who was just kinda standing there stunned (poor baby). This kid was clearly not going anywhere so after I processed in my head what to do next (after I looked around for any parents that might be looking, hoping they were watching their son and looking our way - but didn't find any). I finally decided to use my rushed parenting/conflict management training and try my turn with the kid. I knelt down a bit to his level and proceeded to talk in a calm voice saying something along the lines of "well that was not very nice of you to come and steer the wheel when someone else was playing with it, can you please step back now and let him continue playing since you had your turn already"..again, the kid ignored what was said, didn't even look at me and kept turning the wheel. Finally, David took Josiah's hand and told the boy that he was not being nice at all and told Josiah that he didn't need to play with kids that aren't nice and that we will go play with something else.
We walked away and although we enjoyed a wonderful family day after that incident, the thought of that kid and whether our reaction could have been better kept coming back to mind. I mean, how dare that kid..right? Where were his parents? Is the kid just modeling behavior he observes himself? Or is this just how 5/6 year old boys act when they're playing? Will our son grow up to model such behavior too? As David and I thought more about it, we thought about our childhoods and reflected on bullying/teasing that occurred to us, or that we witnessed. Did we stand up for ourselves when people teased us? or did we just take it? Recently, one of my closest friends shared with me that one of her daughters teachers expressed their delight with her daughter stating that she is a friend to all, and often stands up for those that are getting made fun of in class. I was so blessed to hear this and to know that there are kids that stand up for justice, that speak on behalf of kids that might have been teased to the point that they don't feel confident in themselves to say something to their bully. How I would love to hear that one day from my son's teacher, that Josiah is a well-mannered young man who is kind to all, a peacemaker and a justice seeker! - one who befriends everybody and isn't afraid to stand up to bully's! With school bullying especially making headlines all over these days, I know that it is rampant across our nations schools, communities, within families and yes, even churches! I know that Josiah will most likely encounter bullies, be bullied or maybe even bully - whether knowingly or unknowingly and I just hope and pray that as parents, David and I do all we can to teach him right from wrong in a way that it never leaves him. I can't help but think how scary it is to raise children these days with so many crazy things going on...I guess as parents, all we can do is do our best and allow God to do the rest. I mean, what else can we possibly do?
We ended up going back to the park, the same park, the same playground and of course, my eyes were on the lookout for that little kid - and being the optimistic that I am, I couldn't help but think that this kid can't be that much of a menace - i'm sure he is a sweet kid and probably a really good little boy that has manners, that is polite, that shares with his siblings and friends and perhaps we just happened to meet him at his worst... we all have our worst right? Well, thankfully, we didn't see him and Josiah got to play with the steering wheel again..this time without any interruption :) and I finally got my kodak moment...
