February 27th - The day I said Yes to Courtship

7 years ago today, David called me from nearly 2700 miles away (Los Angeles, CA  - Morgantown, WV), informing me that he had something important to talk to me about. At this point in our friendship, I had known him for about 7 months and had just been talking to him over the phone every few days for about 2 1/2 months prior to this phone call.  I nervously agreed to talk and anxiously awaited for what this "important" conversation would be about.  Secretly, I was screaming inside, hoping that he would somehow, in someway, tell me that he was interested in being "more than the friends we were" as my insides were on the verge of exploding each and every time I talked to him -- trying my best not to intentionally drop any "hints" of my interest toward him.

I got off of work that evening from my shift at the Olive Garden, after a long day at school. I was tired as it was my last semester of college and I was trying to complete all of my assignments, with work, in a timely fashion- -- all the while, maintaining a long-distant friendship with a man whom I adored (he didn't know this then).  That night, I remember being especially tired until David asked if he can talk about something important. He asked me if I would please just listen and allow him to talk as he had a back-story to tell before getting to the "important" talk.  I said yes.

What came next was and is on of the most beautiful, loving, selfless, confident, passionate and down-right, sexiest speech - I have EVER heard.  As he began to speak, I recall laying in my bed in my one-bedroom little duplex - gripping my pillow and kicking my feet in joy (think, romantic chick flick).  

David then proceeded to share something along the lines of (don't quote me):

I have been praying alot lately, specifically, I have been praying about you. Before I tell you about my prayer, I feel I need to give you a back-story.  About 2 years ago, I read a book called "I kissed dating Goodbye" and when I read that book, I learned a lot more about myself, God's heart for me and how Dating, without God in the center can lead to unnecessary heartache. I made a vow to God and myself that I would not date or pursue a girl until I 1) Felt ready for marriage 2) Believed there was a girl who had the qualities of a Godly wife that I could confidently pursue in Courtship (relationship which is covered in prayer with the pursuit of marriage). Prior to 2 years ago, my views towards dating and relationships was very skewed due to dysfunctional upbringing, broken family life, what I saw around me and how I saw and learned about relationships from the world around me.  As a result, others were hurt, as was I.  In those two years since making the commitment to hold off on dating, I had alot of time to think about and get healing from past wounds and learn more about myself and God's plans for me. Although, it hasn't been easy to be single, I have grown so much spiritually and it has been really really good for me.
.... .... .... 

This leads me to now.  When I first met you a few months ago (07/04/06), I thought you were really sweet and enjoyed talking to you. Then we parted ways and you flew back to California.  Then we saw eachother a few months later when you flew back after going to Costa Rica (11/25/06) and I remember thinking "Wow, this girl is really beautiful with her hoop earrings".  At that specific time, I had been missing city-life and remember thinking that I hadn't seen a girl in hoop earrings in a long time - and then randomly, you were in town and I saw you at the youth event, wearing hoop earrings.  We then talked on the phone as you were going to be in Morgantown for your test (12/3/06) and for some reason or another, we weren't able to meet up due to the delay in phone signal when I didn't receive your message until the day after.  We had that awesome conversation which felt like 20 minutes but went into the morning (12/4/06, our first time talking on the phone was 7 hours).  You then flew back to California (12/6/06) and we spoke only every few days or so. I wanted to call you more often but talked myself out of making the call because I didn't want to call you so much.  It was about that time I started to ask God if this was something more...

As I have grown and learned more about God's plan for His children, I know that His plans are good and so I desire His plan for my life.  In my prayers recently, I've been praying for my wife, that she would be filled with joy, peace, strength and love God.  I have pretty specific prayers for my wife and the qualities I know would be awesome if she had.  When I pray about my wife, I think about you.  You have all of the qualities I could ask for in a wife, and more.  You are...  (he listed an array of qualities which nearly had me in tears).....With that, and don't answer now, but I would like you to, if possible, PRAY about pursuing a COURTSHIP with me.  If you can, seek counsel and ask others to also pray with us about this.  Again, you don't have to say anything right now, but that's what I had to tell you.

AT this point, I am SCREAMING inside and putting my head in the pillow, trying not to let him hear the Joy inside.  YES! YES! YES! I won't get into the details of what I had been praying about but basically, my prayers were answered with David's words to me that day and I don't think I could have been any more IMPRESSED by his delivery and how he chose to confidently, share his heart with me and ask me to consider joining him in a beautiful dance of courtship with God at the center.

Needless to say, we both did seek out counsel from couple friends whom we both admired and looked up to as well as others and everyone was overjoyed and in agreement-had peace with us.  We decided to fast and pray for 30 days before making our Courtship official (March 27th 2007) but I still consider this day, one of my favorite days.  






  

Sochi Olympics and t-ball sign-ups

So the 2014 Olympics are going on right now in Sochi, Russia which makes me think of my children and how the probability of them ever becoming "Olympians", can begin right here, right now-if it hasn't already started.  By the words of encouragement they hear from David and I and others around them and our actions - can truly determine how self-disciplined they will become, and what activities they will feel motivated, encouraged and confident to attempt, try for, fall-down and try-again and again.  There's a popular Proctor & Gamble commercial that is all over social media and television right now which portrays 3 winter Olympians and their quests towards becoming who they are as athletes from childhood to their current Olympian status.  It is actually a tear-jerker as you see all three athletes as toddlers, practicing their tumbles, jumps and spins to becoming school-aged children - practicing their moves and sport in the snow and ice.  The commercial portrays them falling, crying and being comforted by their mothers then proceeding to try again.  Their mothers are with them every step of the way, helping them to get back up after each fall, cheering from the stands and embracing both their victories and defeats.  The last clip in the commercial, shows the 3 athletes who have stuck with their game, never giving up and as a result, are Olympians - pursuing their dream and winning gold medals with their mothers by their side. Truly, a lovely commercial it is, especially since P&G gives a shout-out to all moms for the endless support they provide to their children - always encouraging them to "try again". 

A few days ago, my son brought home a T-ball club application form.  Last year, he was just barely able to sign-up (as a 4-year old) however, David and I already had him in tae-kwon-do at the time which had practices 3X's a week.  I was also pregnant and would have been in my third trimester during the season so, we decided against putting him in the t-ball as it would have also had schedule conflicts with taekwondo.  To be honest, we knew that the time commitment for both activities would get tiresome and were also not ready to make the sacrifice.   We did ask Josiah if he wanted to play and he didn't seem to care much which also helped in our decision making.  This year however, I feel compelled to start him in the team sport - Afterall, he does have those Dominican genes which tend to be good for baseball!!!  


I imagine that most all of the great American and non-American  athletes - All started out in their sport as young children- toddlers even.  What if I don't sign Josiah up for T-Ball this season, and he misses a year that could be crucial to his development as a team player, athlete and little slugger?! What if we decide to wait another year and then he will be 6-years old, playing on a team with 4-year old's who can hit a ball with more precision then him causing him to feel embarrassed or cause hurt in some way.  I may be over-thinking the effects of whether to put him in T-ball or not - but in parenting, no decision is ever too small, especially because every decision we make - has the power to change the course of our children's lives - forever.  



Would we be  "bad or selfish" parents for not signing him up this year? I would argue not. I mean,  with two other (younger) children to care for, requiring more of our attention - we could definitely justify that it would absolutely be okay to forego t-ball this year.  We don't have to be the parents who put their children in 5 activities a year (though I admittedly think the idea of doing so is pretty awesome).   Even if we didn't have other children and decided to spend those designated "t-ball practice" times to do a family activity - it would be okay. Perhaps, one-on-one time with dad and backyard play would be fine for our kids and probably a lot more helpful and fun for all involved? Maybe when our children can start whacking tossed balls out of the yard consistently, when they consistently catch and throw effectively, maybe then they are ready for an organized sporting team and league? Now that I think of it, that sounds like pretty good rationale too.

Whatever we decide for this spring, I know that Josiah will survive.  We all will carry on with our lives and be just fine - but as a mom, I would sure love and can't wait to take a picture of Josiah in a t-ball outfit and cheer in the stands for him - WIN or LOSE.