I'll miss you..

Manuel, You’ve only been gone for a few days but my heart misses you sooo much. I remember our first years as siblings, things were CRAZY! I was about 7 when our parents became as you would call them “the parentals” and all of a sudden, I had 2 older brothers and I just remember thinkin’ ..boy these guys are CRAZY! Especially Manuel J he just doesn’t stop, or as everybody else calls you, Manny.

You and I have always shared a special connection, both being the middle child, both big dreamers and we could talk for hours about anything, …about life, psychology, God, people and how different we are. As time passed, We grew up and shared soooo many good and fun memories. You were always the life of the party, the center of the room, the loudest intelligent mind I have ever met. You were also always the one who charmed the ladies, and boy did they love you. Even when you were younger, I recall how all the girls in church would always want to come to our house to supposeably hang out with Marina, me and Isela… I ended up figuring out that although I’m sure they enjoyed my company J, they would also love to be in the same place as you.

You were friends with everybody, and as you would say, I DONT DISCRIMINATE J ….I love how you always made an effort to befriend anybody, no matter who they were or how they looked, you knew how to love and you did it well. In return, you were shown love from everybody you came across. I’ll never forget the year that we worked together at Olive Garden, you kept talking about how easy serving was and that you would soon run the place…you were my best and favorite partner…the two of us would tag team customers at the table and because of you, they wouldn’t know what hit ‘em..lol. And with a huge grin on your face, You would introduce me to all of your tables as you put your arm around my shoulder and proudly say, this is “my little sis”.

Your whole life, you experienced your share of rough patches but you never forgot how to show your love to family and your friends. I’m so proud of you for having such a big commitment o family, for being a proud father, supportive brother, loving son and loyal friend. You are truly a one-of a kind character, a legend, an innovator, a trendsetter, a man who always had a witty line to say about everything, a man who would give whatever you had if somebody needed it which is why when it was all said and done, you gave life to five others with your own. Your life has a been a gift to the world and will only you can leave this world with such a bang! J for all of us to remember….

One thing I look forward to telling my son, your “Siah” is that his uncle many was there just minutes after he was born, and held him with such pride. You taught him to dance and kick his feet when he was still an infant and I’ll forever remind Josiah, that his uncle Manny is the one who taught him to first dance.

10-15-10 My brother passed away

He was the backseat passenger in his own car, he was out with 2 co-workers after work, one of which was driving his car. It is still unknown whether she fell asleep or was drunk but regardless, they were on a back, curvy road and between 2-5am Sunday, hit a tree going at least 50 mph. They were last seen around 2am and it wasn't until 5am that they were found, all unconscious. He was airlifted to a trauma center and never regained any form of consciousness even after a surgery in his brain to reduce swelling. The doctors said that it was just too late, too much hypoxia, lack of oxygen to his brain had already occured. It is believed that he felt no pain because his neuro-system was impacted at the crash as well. The two other girls were reportedly released from the hospital yesterday and don't remember what happened. There was a designated driver who was at the bar with them, but left early w/o them because when she was ready to leave, they weren't. that designated driver has called the hospital everyday to apologize and my parents have accepted that apology. I don't know why God could allow this to happen but He never makes mistakes and I have to believe there's a purpose. Today, we found out that purpose was for others to carry Manny's funkiness in their lives. He just got his license, the first time ever, last year, I took him to the DMV and he was soooo nervous. I clearly remember helping him get the paperwork in order and filling out the drivers license application. When he got to the box that said "check" for being an organ donor, he asked me something along the lines of "whats this?" and I told him what it meant...w/o hesitation, matter of factly he replied something like "why would anyone NOT check this, SHOOT! Today matches were made for his heart and liver and more will be confirmed by tomorrow....all I can think about now is that his life will give several others second chances, just like he has been given a second chance. God is good.

Freedom of Choice? Your Mom Chose Life.

I recently checked my myspace profile (i havn't been on it in months since facebook took over my time). I was looking back at my past blogs and came across this one. It especially suprised being that I almost forgot about writing it, let alone posting it for the world to see. It brought with it, bittersweet emotion as I remember writing it after a discussion in class in which the girl sitting next to me said that she believes a woman should be allowed to choose, even at 6-months with child. I was 6-months pregnant at the time and wanted to scream at her "you're telling me that this belly here (pointing to my belly) does not have a living child inside, that my son whom my husband and I read and sing to, whom we've already named "Josiah" is not yet a human being even though he kicks me all the time. That his heart beat does not matter!" And I am not a screamer. I was mad at myself after class for not saying anything, I believe I was just so angry and in shock at the ignorance so many people like her have towards life. And I guess, I was afraid I'd cry and wouldn't be able to get my point across. By the way, it was winter in West Virginia at the time, snowing alot, and she wasn't somebody I really associated with in class (not that I didn't want to, just the opportunity never came) so my pregnancy was not known by many so I'm sure she would not have made the statements she made had she known. But maybe she would have. So, I didn't speak up in that class at the time, but I did end up using the topic as a frame of reference for an assignment in that class. It was a policy class for my Social Work graduate program, in which we had to give our opinion about a bill currently in the legislature. I chose the FOCA. Here is what I wrote, and here is what I posted. I may just post in comments, the comments and feedback I recieved from readers.

Freedom of Choice? Your Mom Chose Life.
There seems to be people in the country that believe that Barack Obama is against abortion. What an ignorant statement to have when throughout his campaign he promised that the first bill he would pass as President is yet the grandest pro-abortion policy in the history of America. Yes, I’m talking about the FOCA (Freedom of Choice Act).....

The FOCA act would force us, American taxpayers to pay for abortions worldwide and would literally nullify every single anti-abortion law in both federal and state governments. This FOCA act would disregard every conscious protection law, parental consent for minors, bans on partial birth and live birth abortions among others. Every bans on abortion practices and procedures would all be annulled. Now where is the people’s choice in this? ....

Even in the liberal state of ....California...., the Supreme Court in 2004 convicted Harold Taylor of not one, but two counts of murder for the shooting deaths of Patty Fensler and her 11-week to 13-week-old unborn child. In schools today, a minor cannot receive aspirin from the school nurse without parental consent yet, a child can put their life in danger and kill their unborn baby without that same consent? We, Americans do not realize what this FOCA act entails and it is heartbreaking to know that such a bill resides in Congress today.....

Whether you believe unborn children are alive or not, abortion certifies that they will never breathe. This FOCA aims to reduce the number of abortions in ....America.... however, researchers estimates that 125,000 additional children would be slaughtered per year with the new rights FOCA offers. There’s a saying in ....America.... that “mama knows best” – well we have a voice today because our mothers chose “Life”.

The FOCA, if implemented will make all abortion procedures into basic human rights. Do you believe that babies are a punishment? I’ve come to realize that every single child is a blessing, equipped with a purpose and capable of promoting “CHANGE” as our President has so adamantly proclaimed. Truly, if the American people desire “CHANGE”, we must be this change ourselves and begin by educating our minds about such issues as this Freedom of Choice Act. ....

Pro-Life supporters believe that human life begins at conception. Doctors have concluded that at 18 days after conception, the heart-beat is formed and pumping – at this early stage of pregnancy it is almost impossible for a woman to even know she is with-child. We Americans know that a pulse means that life exists and have several medical laws based on performing cardiac-resuscitation in emergency rooms, nursing homes and hospitals. Without a medical power of attorney signed by a patient, law mandates all medical personnel to perform any means required to help save human life. Yet, the lives of an estimated 4,000 growing human beings are taken each day despite their pumping hearts.....

If your mom chose life, than I urge you to better inform yourself on this FOCA act while your heart is still pumping. Whether Americans truly support this act or not, remember that your voice can make a difference. Write to your legislators, talk to your friends and neighbors and most importantly, consider being an advocate for the millions of fellow human beings whom will never have the chance to speak nor the right to vote!

- Carmen Abreu & Josiah (the gift living inside of me)

February 2008

Read more: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=2094231&blogId=482381152#ixzz0yVCFNjKN

top 5 Things I loved in Summer 2010:

1. Being a stay-at-home mom
It's not gonna be easy returning to school and work, actually I already started training for my new job so I guess my summer has been officially over since last wednesday..nevertheless, I definitely enjoyed my summer with the hubby and son...apart from our Dominican Republic and New York trip for 2 weeks in June, weekends we spent visiting friends in Philadelphia, Lancaster, PA and Washington DC, we went to the zoo, hosted friends from California and showed them beautiful West Virginia points of interest, our family had plenty of late nites together and on some days, even slept in til noon!! (yes, skipped breakfast and woke up in time for lunch..ikes!), we also got to go on evening walks, played at the park, watched tons of videos, movies, ate homemade meals each day (except for a few dates we had since not having employment, funds were also very low), but we had good times and an enjoyable summer indeed.

2. Trip to Dominican Republic
We took off on June 2nd and returned June 16th from Pittsburgh to Santiago, DR via a 2-day stop in New York City. There is soo much to write about this trip that i'll have to make another post about it. In short, to celebrate our 2-year wedding anniversary, Josiah's 1st birthday, enjoy a getaway and most importantly, give David's mother a vacation and trip to her homeland and reunite with David's part of the family - we spent a good portion of this years Child Tax Credit Return and had a vacation. We mostly spent time with family but did get to enjoy a few nights at an All-Inclusive Resort in Puerto Plata, the northernmost beach on the island. The trip was unforgettable and such a blessing to experience, reminding me of all the things we have to be thankful for in America and bringing David and I closer as I got to learn more about his heritage and where he comes from.

3. Hulu.com
So many videos, so many shows that I had only heard about..i finally got to watch some great shows and movies..and the best part....all for FREE!! My husband kept poking fun of all the shows and swore that I was wasting my time...I probably was, some of the time, but some of my most memorable shows I got to watch and wish I could have made time to watch earlier seasons sooner: Ugly Betty, Glee, America's got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance, and America's Next Top Model. Other shows that I normally watch on hulu (before getting cable) that I had to catch up on due to end of school finals, events and trips were: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Army Wives (still on), Life Unexpected, and Desparate Housewives. I did not however have to catch up on LOST :)


4. YouTube
Since I had a whole lot more time at home this summer and most of my friends were either gone (graduated and into the next chapters of their life) or just busy (busier than me anyway), I got to explore YouTube videos on a whole new level, browsing and browsing and getting lost in a world of home videos and movies that are broken up into like 20-different video segments :) it was very fun, I learned a lot and only felt lame just a few times. Here are some of my favorite videos, and others that were just plain useful.

Olive's homebirth: makes me wanna have a homebirth for our next one, so amazingly beautiful, you can see the love between the young/hip husband and wife, such a beautiful family and as a mom myself, I could relate so much to the bittersweet photos during labor and delivery. Truly a miracle!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niJ6F2p9Ql8

Make your own Pore Strips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bjOB4zS0uE&feature=fvhl
This video is awesome, looks like it really works and I'm looking forward to saving some $$$. Gotta love these do-it-yourself, make-it-yourself tips :)

5. Starbucks coffee
mmmm..since I've been weaning Josiah quite a bit since his first birthday (he's actually weaning himself to be correct), I have enjoyed being able to drink starbucks coffee..it is soo good, how I've missed it. I nearly stopped all coffee drinking after discovering I was pregnant back in September 2008!!..delivered Josiah in May 2009..then was nursing him and did not want the caffeine to get into my milk. I started drinking regular coffee (although not starbucks because it is way to strong) but now....mmmmm..I brew it most mornings with my various creamers and milk and have enjoyed the aromas and taste of coffee in general. I love it!

little feet will follow

I just put Josiah down for a nap and couldn't help but stare at him. He is 14 1/2 months old now and becoming my little boy rather than my lil baby :( Recently, I have found myself in awe of all the things he is learning. He mimics so many things David and I do, and so many things he sees others doing around him. The latest things he repeats are "Sit" as he points to the floor, just like he sees his daddy do, and "Tapatio" - that was the cutest, as I was looking in the fridge for my fav. hot sauce asking David if he had seen it..lol. Needless to say we were rather impressed. But not just words, he repeats our actions too and with that, I realize even more, the importance of setting a good example for him. Because little feet will follow big feet and little mouths will repeat what they hear big mouths say and the tone in which they say it in. Like a certain song goes:

I saw two little feet
Walking in my footsteps
And I heard a little voice
Askin' things I didn't know
I touched some tiny fingers
That reached out for direction
If he's gonna follow me
I need to know just where I'll go

If he's following me
Then Lord I need to follow you
If I'm a living example
I need a whole lot of your life
And if the steps I take
Will influence him forever
I can't afford to lose
Lord help me... make it right

-(Crabb Family "Two Little Feet")

(pictured at 11 months)

My prayer today: Thank you Jesus for our son. Thank you for keeping him healthy, safe, happy and joyful. I pray for David and I as we learn to raise Josiah in your will and in one accord. Help us to come into agreement on every aspect of our parenting and I ask that you would give us continued wisdom, courage, energy to remain consistent in our training and disciplines, strength and patience as we raise Josiah in love to be a new light in our world. Amen

Family Portraits - 1 year after becoming a family of 3

These were last minute photos taken by friends of ours, Mike and Emily Cuccarese. They are amazing photographers and you can check them out on their site at: www.cuccaresephotography.com

A lot has happened in a year, we extended our family with the birth of our son Josiah, David started back at school, I graduated this past May and in that same month we moved into a much bigger house, a miracle from God considering our financial state and prayers. Josiah finally has his own room, although I admit that I will miss waking up to his babbling and peeking over my covers to see him standing in his crib next to me with a huge grin on his face. His transition in his own room couldn't have gone more smoothly - the first night, he slept 11 hours!! (this is compared to the 9 he usually sleeps- probably because David and I keep him up..lol). Anyways, getting back to the photo shoot since that is why I decided to blog, these were taken the night before we were heading off to the Dominican Republic. We has arranged to visit David's family and celebrate our 2 year anniversary there for months and since we were gonna be gone for over 2 weeks and Josiah had just celebrated his 1st birthday, we wanted to squeeze in some family portraits before we departed. Needless to say, that was a busy day of packing, rushing to stores to get last minute items, etc. and my family was not dressed how I envisioned us to look but here we are...and I love them :) I am a blessed mommy-wife indeed.

Lovely advice...

Some lovely advice I wanted to pass along from: obliteratedheart

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

4. Live with the 3 E's - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy

5. Play more games.

6. Read more books than you did in 2009.

7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes a day.

8. Sleep for 7 hours.

9. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

10. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

11. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in positive present moment.

12. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

13. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

15. Dream more while you are awake.

16. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

17. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

18. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

19. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

20. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

21. Realise that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

22. Smile and laugh more.

23. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

24. Call your family often.

25. Each day give something good to others.

26. Forgive as you have been forgiven.

27. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6 - You'll learn a thing or two..

28. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

31. Do the right thing!

32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

33. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. The best is yet to come.

36. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.