To our family and friends,
As I was getting ready to send out recent photographs of the family and Josiah, I realized that a little update was probably warranted. Here's what I sent out in paper format along with Josiah's 2-year birthday photos and family photos:
I am so grateful for social media such as facebook and of course other modern-day technology such as the cell-phone to keep in touch with family and friends, however I know that a lot of times, our schedules don’t allow for a proper greeting and/or update on family life. I thought I’d go back a few years ago to letter-writing and just share a bit of what’s been going on lately with my family and I, especially for those far away from us J
First, David and I will be celebrating our 3-year anniversary this month on June 7th and boy, can we look back and see how our lives have changed…
David: As most of you are aware, David decided to go back to school to finish up his Bachelor’s degree two years ago. Well, he is still persevering and doing great. After a major-change last semester he has been motivated to take an extra full-time load to meet his deadline goal. I am so proud of him that he has made Dean’s List the past few semesters and is on track to graduate this December of 2011 with a BA in Criminology and Investigations! This summer, he is busy taking full-time coursework (before baby arrives) as well as interning at the Mon. County Courthouse with the Victims program. He is still in prayer about the future career God has and all that lies ahead.
Josiah: We just celebrated Josiah’s 2nd birthday on May 17th and were blessed to have a couple gatherings with friends from his day-care and our neighborhood as well as a little party in Lancaster, PA with my family who relocated there from West Virginia last year. It is difficult not having family close to us but Josiah is doing very well and is surrounded by a great group of people here that we can consider family. He is currently doing great with potty-training and if it were up to me, can be fully trained by next month (my goal was to be rid of diapers by the time his little brother arrives). His vocabulary is increasing by the day, he enjoys singing, telling stories, absolutely LOVES reading and his new thing is playing outside with the older neighborhood boys.
Baby Abreu #2: We have yet to decide on a name though believe we can have one by the time we’re forced to decide at the hospital J He is due to arrive on July 7th which makes me about 36 weeks and counting! We are blessed that the pregnancy has been going as perfectly as can be, he is very active, moves and kicks perhaps more than Josiah used to. We are believing for his birth to be “supernatural” no-pain meds, without complications and easy as can be. Hey, everything is possible through Christ right!
Carmen: After finishing the Spring semester in early May, I’ve been working part-time at WVU on a special project while David is at his internship although I finish this week so will have about a month off at home with Josiah before our new bundle of joy arrives. I’ll graduate as well this December with David, (on the same day as him too) with a Masters in Public Administration as part of the dual-Masters degree program with Social Work that I completed last Spring. This fall, I plan to continue my position at WVU working with new students at-risk of dropping-out while completing my coursework. Depending on which doors open up for David, I’m open to being a stay-at home mom while following David in wherever his career make take him though plan to eventually utilize my training at least part-time in a social services or higher education field.
Love Always,
The Abreu Family (David, Carmen, Josiah and #2 Abreu)
We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9
As David and I were discussing whether to go to the park today, thoughts of frustration and anger came over us as we thought about our last visit to the park. It was last Saturday, when we decided to venture out (now that springtime weather was beginning to creep in) and take Josiah to our favorite park so that he can finally run around and play. Needless to say, we had just got to the playground area and were walking hand in hand up the ramp and through the playground equipment re-introducing Josiah to the different slides, tic-tac-toe games, climbing equipment and all that good stuff. We could tell he was a little nervous as he watched alot of older kids playing tag, running around and feeling very comfortable with the playground. We finally settled on a steering wheel that "imaginatively speaking" can steer the playground :)
Josiah was loving the wheel, smiling and laughing as he turned it around and around...I had my camera with me and was just about to snap a kodak moment shot when this older little boy (looked about 5 or 6) ran passed me and pushed his way between David and Josiah, shoving them both to get to the steering wheel Josiah was playing with. He shoved Josiah out of the way stating in an angry voice "HEY, THIS IS MY STEERING WHEEL!" Needless to say, We were all shocked! David and I looked at eachother in amazement-I mean, the nerve this kid had to approach and shove not just a 1-year old but his parents too! David immediately then told the little boy something along the lines of "excuse me, that was not very nice. Our son was playing with that steering wheel and it is not yours, it belongs to the playground and anybody can play with it so you need to step back because he was here first". The kid just stared at my husband and kept on turning the wheel, ignoring what was just said. I was feeling a bit nervous, for both the kid and my husband who is a justice-seeker! Again, David and I looked at eachother in more disbelief then we glanced over at Josiah who was just kinda standing there stunned (poor baby). This kid was clearly not going anywhere so after I processed in my head what to do next (after I looked around for any parents that might be looking, hoping they were watching their son and looking our way - but didn't find any). I finally decided to use my rushed parenting/conflict management training and try my turn with the kid. I knelt down a bit to his level and proceeded to talk in a calm voice saying something along the lines of "well that was not very nice of you to come and steer the wheel when someone else was playing with it, can you please step back now and let him continue playing since you had your turn already"..again, the kid ignored what was said, didn't even look at me and kept turning the wheel. Finally, David took Josiah's hand and told the boy that he was not being nice at all and told Josiah that he didn't need to play with kids that aren't nice and that we will go play with something else.
We walked away and although we enjoyed a wonderful family day after that incident, the thought of that kid and whether our reaction could have been better kept coming back to mind. I mean, how dare that kid..right? Where were his parents? Is the kid just modeling behavior he observes himself? Or is this just how 5/6 year old boys act when they're playing? Will our son grow up to model such behavior too? As David and I thought more about it, we thought about our childhoods and reflected on bullying/teasing that occurred to us, or that we witnessed. Did we stand up for ourselves when people teased us? or did we just take it? Recently, one of my closest friends shared with me that one of her daughters teachers expressed their delight with her daughter stating that she is a friend to all, and often stands up for those that are getting made fun of in class. I was so blessed to hear this and to know that there are kids that stand up for justice, that speak on behalf of kids that might have been teased to the point that they don't feel confident in themselves to say something to their bully. How I would love to hear that one day from my son's teacher, that Josiah is a well-mannered young man who is kind to all, a peacemaker and a justice seeker! - one who befriends everybody and isn't afraid to stand up to bully's! With school bullying especially making headlines all over these days, I know that it is rampant across our nations schools, communities, within families and yes, even churches! I know that Josiah will most likely encounter bullies, be bullied or maybe even bully - whether knowingly or unknowingly and I just hope and pray that as parents, David and I do all we can to teach him right from wrong in a way that it never leaves him. I can't help but think how scary it is to raise children these days with so many crazy things going on...I guess as parents, all we can do is do our best and allow God to do the rest. I mean, what else can we possibly do?
We ended up going back to the park, the same park, the same playground and of course, my eyes were on the lookout for that little kid - and being the optimistic that I am, I couldn't help but think that this kid can't be that much of a menace - i'm sure he is a sweet kid and probably a really good little boy that has manners, that is polite, that shares with his siblings and friends and perhaps we just happened to meet him at his worst... we all have our worst right? Well, thankfully, we didn't see him and Josiah got to play with the steering wheel again..this time without any interruption :) and I finally got my kodak moment...
You and I have always shared a special connection, both being the middle child, both big dreamers and we could talk for hours about anything, …about life, psychology, God, people and how different we are. As time passed, We grew up and shared soooo many good and fun memories. You were always the life of the party, the center of the room, the loudest intelligent mind I have ever met. You were also always the one who charmed the ladies, and boy did they love you. Even when you were younger, I recall how all the girls in church would always want to come to our house to supposeably hang out with Marina, me and Isela… I ended up figuring out that although I’m sure they enjoyed my company J, they would also love to be in the same place as you.
You were friends with everybody, and as you would say, I DONT DISCRIMINATE J ….I love how you always made an effort to befriend anybody, no mat
ter who they were or how they looked, you knew how to love and you did it well. In return, you were shown love from everybody you came across. I’ll never forget the year that we worked together at Olive Garden, you kept talking about how easy serving was and that you would soon run the place…you were my best and favorite partner…the two of us would tag team customers at the table and because of you, they wouldn’t know what hit ‘em..lol. And with a huge grin on your face, You would introduce me to all of your tables as you put your arm around my shoulder and proudly say, this is “my little sis”.
Your whole life, y
ou experienced your share of rough patches but you never forgot how to show your love to family and your friends. I’m so proud of you for having such a big commitment o family, for being a proud father, supportive brother, loving son and loyal friend. You are truly a one-of a kind character, a legend, an innovator, a trendsetter, a man who always had a witty line to say about everything, a man who would give whatever you had if somebody needed it which is why when it was all said and done, you gave life to five others with your own. Your life has a been a gift to the world and will only you can l
eave this world with such a bang! J for all of us to remember….
One thing I look forward to telling my son, your “Siah” is that his uncle many was there just minutes after he was born, and held him with such pride. You taught him to dance and kick his feet when he was still an infant and I’ll forever remind Josiah, that his uncle Manny is the one who taught him to first dance.
hat he felt no pain because his neuro-system was impacted at the crash as well. The two other girls were reportedly released from the hospital yesterday and don't remember what happened. There was a designated driver who was at the bar with them, but left early w/o them because when she was ready to leave, they weren't. that designated driver has called the hospital everyday to apologize and my parent
s have accepted that apology. I don't know why God could allow this to happen but He never makes mistakes and I have to believe there's a purpose. Today, we found out that purpose was for others to carry Manny's funkiness in their lives. He just got his license, the first time ever, last year, I took him to the DMV and he was soooo nervous. I clearly remember helping him get the paperwork in order and filling out the drivers license application. When he got to the box that said "check" for being an organ donor, he asked me something along the lines of "whats this?" and I told him what it meant...w/o hesitation, matter of factly he replied something like "why would anyone NOT check this, SHOOT! Today matches were made for his heart and liver and more will be confirmed by tomorrow....all I can think about now is that his life will give several others second chances, just like he has been given a second chance. God is good.
I recently checked my myspace profile (i havn't been on it in months since facebook took over my time). I was looking back at my past blogs and came across this one. It especially suprised being that I almost forgot about writing it, let alone posting it for the world to see. It brought with it, bittersweet emotion as I remember writing it after a discussion in class in which the girl sitting next to me said that she believes a woman should be allowed to choose, even at 6-months with child. I was 6-months pregnant at the time and wanted to scream at her "you're telling me that this belly here (pointing to my belly) does not have a living child inside, that my son whom my husband and I read and sing to, whom we've already named "Josiah" is not yet a human being even though he kicks me all the time. That his heart beat does not matter!" And I am not a screamer. I was mad at myself after class for not saying anything, I believe I was just so angry and in shock at the ignorance so many people like her have towards life. And I guess, I was afraid I'd cry and wouldn't be able to get my point across. By the way, it was winter in West Virginia at the time, snowing alot, and she wasn't somebody I really associated with in class (not that I didn't want to, just the opportunity never came) so my pregnancy was not known by many so I'm sure she would not have made the statements she made had she known. But maybe she would have. So, I didn't speak up in that class at the time, but I did end up using the topic as a frame of reference for an assignment in that class. It was a policy class for my Social Work graduate program, in which we had to give our opinion about a bill currently in the legislature. I chose the FOCA. Here is what I wrote, and here is what I posted. I may just post in comments, the comments and feedback I recieved from readers.
Freedom of Choice? Your Mom Chose Life.
There seems to be people in the country that believe that Barack Obama is against abortion. What an ignorant statement to have when throughout his campaign he promised that the first bill he would pass as President is yet the grandest pro-abortion policy in the history of America. Yes, I’m talking about the FOCA (Freedom of Choice Act).....
The FOCA act would force us, American taxpayers to pay for abortions worldwide and would literally nullify every single anti-abortion law in both federal and state governments. This FOCA act would disregard every conscious protection law, parental consent for minors, bans on partial birth and live birth abortions among others. Every bans on abortion practices and procedures would all be annulled. Now where is the people’s choice in this? ....
Even in the liberal state of ....California...., the Supreme Court in 2004 convicted Harold Taylor of not one, but two counts of murder for the shooting deaths of Patty Fensler and her 11-week to 13-week-old unborn child. In schools today, a minor c
Whether you believe unborn children are alive or not, abortion certifies that they will never breathe. This FOCA aims to reduce the number of abortions in ....America.... however, researchers estimates that 125,000 additional children would be slaughtered per year with the new rights FOCA offers. There’s a saying in ....America.... that “mama knows best” – well we have a voice today because our mothers chose “Life”.
The FOCA, if implemented will make all abortion procedures into basic human rights. Do you believe that babies are a punishment? I’ve come to realize that every single child is a blessing, equipped with a purpose and capable of promoting “CHANGE” as our President has so adamantly proclaimed. Truly, if the American people desire “CHANGE”, we must be this change ourselves and begin by educating our minds about such issues as this Freedom of Choice Act. ....
Pro-Life supporters believe that human life begins at conception. Doctors have concluded that at 18 days after conception, the heart-beat is formed and pumping – at this early stage of pregnancy it is almost impossible for a woman to even know she is with-child. We Americans know that a pulse means that life exists and have several medical laws based on performing cardiac-resuscitation in emergency rooms, nursing homes and hospitals. Without a medical power of attorney signed by a patient, law mandates all medical personnel to perform any means required to help save human life. Yet, the lives of an estimated 4,000 growing human beings are taken each day despite their pumping hearts.....
If your mom chose life, than I urge you to better inform yourself on this FOCA act while your heart is still pumping. Whether Americans truly support this act or not, remember that your voice can make a difference. Write to your legislators, talk to your friends and neighbors and most importantly, consider being an advocate for the millions of fellow human beings whom will never have the chance to speak nor the right to vote!
- Carmen Abreu & Josiah (the gift living inside of me)
February 2008
