New Years Resolutions for 2014

At 28, I have numerous years of New Year’s resolutions behind me - usually, they were never written down and only included a couple each year, most of the time involving: eating healthier, exercising and challenges to myself to being a better overall person.  Throughout each year, as I learn new things, I also challenge myself when the need arises - because I truly do want to be a better person, better mom, better wife and better Me.  Now some of those goals were just doomed from the start, others made it through a few days, weeks or months but I can't recall any lasting resolution that I can look back and say "Hey! That's the year I stopped doing____ or _____.   A smarter person would just stop making resolutions but I’ve never been one to give up. They say practice makes perfect, so this time I am nailing it. I am sticking to the basics and here are the seven points I’ll accomplish in 2014.

1) Draw closer to God

I admit that I'm terrible with reading the Word. I'm terrible at sticking to devotionals and other books. I start reading plans with great intentions but for some reason or another, don't finish most all of them.  My first goal is to draw closer to God first in prayer, then in my reading of His word and other books inspired by it and also by communion with others (now that part I've got pretty down) and also as I strive to be more like Jesus in His selfless love for others such as: how can I reflect Christ more as a wife to David, as a mother to Josiah, Daniel and Jubilee? As a sister, daughter, friend and at my workplace?   I've started an awesome devotional on the Hillsong church app by Brian Houston - each read is short and sweet and I have easy access by having it on my phone. So far, I'm sticking to it and i'm encouraged by them by most of all, I know that drawing closer to God is the only sure way to be happier, more content, more satisfied, more joyful and MORE of Him in 2014 then I was in 2013 :)

2) Develop Me

Like many moms, I spend most of my time thinking about and doing things for your kids, and family. After all of the daily tasks are completed, there isn't a whole lot of time for me- and if there is, it must be done in the comfort of my home so I can do them once they are asleep or taking naps.  In 2014, most of the "developing me"--which sounds very selfish---is done at home but all with the motto "when mom is happy, the family is happy" so really "developing me" is equally "developing others".  Some of these include: going back to working outside of the home, starting a home group, sticking to things that I enjoy and work for my family and continuing to take care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually.  

3) Pay A Little More Attention to my Husband.

Since having three kids, time spent with just David and I is rare and although each year we make it a goal to have regular date-nights (meaning "out of the home"), the task of finding a good babysitter (since our family all lives out of state), the weather or kid's schedules (one of them is sick, or one is having "one of those days which we don't want to expose to others) or something else always seems to get in the way.  We enjoy good times together on our couch - cuddling up with a movie when the kids are asleep, but this year, I want to really make it a goal to try new activities with him, engage in new dialogue, explore new places together (if this can be possible at all).  I would love to have a getaway with him for a weekend-Oh how I would love that! (though nursing the princess makes this goal pretty impossible for awhile)---maybe one day...Oh and I also desire to look less at my phone and just be very present during the time we do have together.   

4) Put Down my iPhone

Multitasking is a mom’s middle name, so it makes sense that we sometimes need to answer an email or respond to a text while the kids are around. But if you’re like me, you find yourself nearly addicted to checking what’s new on the phone. Sure that text is hilarious and that email is top priority, but I really don't need to check my facebook newsfeed or instagram at every stoplight (not really every stoplight - maybe every other) or be on the computer while my children are playing next to me (sad truth). My children want to feel like they have my compete attention and although I give them lots, I don't want my four-year old to ever have to ask me "hey mom, pay attention to me!" (because I know he has probably had that thought a time or two or hundred).

5) No more Yelling

As much as I hate to admit it, I sometimes yell.  It is something somewhat new to me since I never used to be a yeller. Around the time my first-born turned 3, I found myself on those occasions when "he just wouldn't listen", -- yelling in pure frustration for him to do something or stop doing something that I asked him 10 times before not to-or to do.  I recently read a great article about how Yelling really makes no sense at all and I agreed with it completely. It does more harm to all parties involved than any good we think it does and plainly, it is not necessary as it does not work. Sometimes it feels like raising my voice is the only way to get my child's attention but really- it's terrifying for them and makes me feel so guilty afterwards.  So in 2014, my goal is to yell no more! 

6) Don’t Be So Hard on Myself

Growing up, I've always been somewhat of an over-achiever.  I wanted to excel and do all things with excellence - as "unto the Lord".  This habit has served me very well in most endeavors of mine but I am still far from perfect.  Being a mom has been the hardest things I've ever taken on and in alot of ways, I am challenged more and more each day.  Motherhood doesn't come a manual, it doesn't require education or training but yet it is the most important job in the world---and you know what--I've been given the task to mother 3 children!!! What a responsibility!!!  So on those days when I lose it with my kids or let them watch four hours in a row of television (I confess) because I needed "a break", I want to be less hard on myself and lead by example by giving myself a break. I won't be perfect, will always strive to do my best but for the times I'm not, I will give myself a break and try better the next day.

REVISED: with the addition of #7 (I also did some spell check as I re-read what I wrote after publishing and boy, was it difficult to read! I published it just as Daniel woke from nap so that I can "be present with him" :)

7) Eat Cleaner

Yesterday, I was invited to an amish farm's food-tasting party. It was freezing cold out but I stopped by on my way home to where it was held (in a garage in our community which serves as a bi-monthly drop off location from the farmer to local residents.  I shook the amish farmer's hand and got to try all kinds of awesome raw-cow milk and sheep products such as cheese and ice cream, fermented vegetables organic teas---I was inspired and felt so healthy and just CLEAN inside (haha). I think it is incredibly awesome that I met the farmer who grew and raised the product which I was ingesting.  I can say that I've never been an "unhealthy" eater for the most part. I've never really been a soda-drinker and growing up, I would say that I ate a somewhat balanced diet (for the most part). After moving to West Virginia however, my diet became a lot more healthy since there my food options diminished by a huge fraction (not to mention they don't have taco or burrito stands nor good mexican food options!). Then after marrying David, my diet became even more healthier as I learned to incorporate black beans-instead of re-fried beans, little to no fried foods, butter instead of margarine, whole wheat bread (vs. white), natural juices (vs. Tang of Koolaid) and other substitutes which were easier on his stomach (since he has a sensitive one).  So, over the past 6 years or so, our family diet has been getting better, more natural and more organic.   In 2013, we also started eating more fresh vegetables as I started our first home garden and became a frequent shopper at our local farmers market. We also purchased a Nutri-bullet and joined the green-smoothie craze (which lasted a few solid months before dwindling down).  Long story short, in 2014, I want to continue this trend and take it to another level: More local and organic meat-maybe buy a piece of a cow, finally join one of the many crop-sharing programs offered by organic farmers in our area. So, let the cleaner eating begin! 

Happy New Year and feel free to comment with any of your Resolutions for 2014?!

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Getting back to blogging - 2014

I think I am one of the worst bloggers as no matter how many times I think about sitting down and writing a new post, I almost never do. It seems my three children really keep me on my toes and when I get some "me-time", I find myself taking a nice hot shower, cleaning, doing laundry, watching the latest episodes of my shows (since I almost never get to watch them when they air) or working on bills, household management details, etc.  So, here it goes, another little update on what life is like these days so that someday, I can read back and remember just how things were:

So it is January 2014---and Jubilee is 6 months old already (not even sure if I even posted about my pregnancy-let alone her birth ..LOL). Daniel just turned 30 months old (officially a 2 1/2 year old!) and Josiah is 4 1/2 and such a big boy and great big brother! It is Saturday afternoon as I type and all 3 kiddos are taking a nap -- Oh how I LOVE naptime! When Jubilee was still a newborn, I worked hard for a week or two to get her schedule n'sync on the boys napping schedule so that I can count on having a couple of hours (while they all nap) mid-day-- to myself ---- that, let me tell you has been my sanity-saver! I really believe that God created kids to need naps, more for their parents then the kids themselves - truly!  

I sat down awhile ago, checked by facebook newsfeed and read a few articles shared about various things from SIDS and how new research is finding that it could be a chemical imbalance babies are born with (interesting read) and another article titled "22 things I learned in my first ten years of parenthood" found here: http://www.conversiondiary.com/2014/01/22-things-i-learned-in-my-first-ten-years-of-parenthood.html .......... Which is what inspired me to write this new post :) 

The main reason for my post is to be able to look back at it one day and remember how my life was...how my children's daily life was, remember struggles we encountered and also the joys -- and have it documented.  This new year, my goal is to write 1-post each week (most likely during naptime or after the kids go to bed)...let's see how it goes.

So without further ado, my first post of 2014 (in next post):

Grace in the midst of car troubles

Yesterday afternoon, I decided to run to get a few last minute ingredients I needed for our community group potluck that evening. It's funny how some days before something happens, a thought crosses one's mind that "something is going to happen out of the norm".  This incident was one of those times. I took my shopping buddy, our 4-year old Josiah who is always down to do errands with mama and left David with our 2 youngest.  We drove off and got to the Kroger's parking lot and for some reason, I kept driving around, looking for that perfect spot, almost for-seeing that I would need a specific parking space for what was to come.  I finally parked facing an outlet rather than facing in with a car ahead of me. We hurried out quickly and purchased the items I needed, checked out and headed back to our car. We got buckled up, I put the key into the ignition, turned the key and nothing....the car wasn't starting. I tried a couple more times and then everything clicked..why the car automatic windows seemed a little droggy as I tried to put them down on my way, why the electronics sounded jumbled and extra slow--the car had been trying to tell me it's battery was very low.  Immediately I knew it had to be the battery and just hoped it wasn't anything else.  Fortunately,  a large truck right next to me was about to leave and I asked the man if he wouldn't mind giving me a jump-start.  He was very nice but didn't have much time, he agreed to help me out but after only about 3-minutes of charging, my car was not starting--it needed more time but time he did not have.

Long story short, I had been trying to reach my husband however he had music playing on his phone for our babygirl who he had put in the bedroom to nap so with 2% charge left on my cell phone battery, I was able to reach my neighbor who walked over to give David the news that I was stranded and needed him to pick us up. I almost left my phone home charging while I went out but went back into the house where it was charging to retrieve it, just in case I needed it and that I did.

Now this is a Sunday afternoon and perhaps the best time for a car issue to occur as David doesn't work Sundays or Mondays.  As I stood outside of the car waiting for David to arrive, with the August sun and heat beaming upon me, I begin to feel gratitude. Gratitude that it was only the battery-an easy fix, gratitude that I got stranded in a busy parking lot of a grocery store open 24 hours a day, gratitude that I wasn't in a rush which would have tested my patience even more and gratitude that of all times, I was stranded at the best possible time in the best possible place and not far from home.

I remember the past car troubles we had including the jeep overheating and recall that it too happened on a Sunday morning.  I had both kids in the car with me on that cold January and I was pregnant but it was daylight and I pulled over just blocks away from our new house which we had been working on before moving in. We have 2 used cars so maintenance issues occur at least 3 times a year for us but as I reflect now upon the many car troubles that have occurred, they all seemed to present themselves just at the right place and giving us the most time to take care of with least headache.

David picked us up yesterday and since we didn't need the car and it was going to be in a safe place, we decided to keep it there, go to our community group meeting and take care of it today. So, this monday morning, I drove David to pick up a new battery and he was able to replace it easily himself. We did not have to miss a meeting or appointment, he didn't have to be late or absent from work, we didn't have to change plans other than having 45 minutes of extra rest.

Despite our car troubles yesterday, God's grace was ever present reminding me and us that in the midst of trouble, His grace is sufficient.

Alegria Jubilee - A Birth Story

It was a Friday morning, July 12th and I went to my 2nd post due date appointment with my midwife.  I was quite disappointed that I was still pregnant as this was my third pregnancy and I had been struggling in the July heat, having back-aches and have been doing exercises for weeks to flip the baby so her head would turn in the best position for labor/delivery.

My husband and 2 young sons joined me for the appointment which turned out to be alot more stressful as the boys can only sit still for so long.  My husband didn't really get to hear our daughter's heartbeat or what the midwife had to say as he was reading books to the boys and trying to keep them from touching and provoking the other.  A nurse hooked me up to the fetal monitoring system as was required for mothers after the EDD (expected due date) and for about 30 minutes, while my husband struggled to keep our boys talking with low voices and entertained, our daughter was doing ninja moves inside of me (as she had been doing for months) and the monitoring system could not get a solid reading that was acceptable. Without a solid heart reading, I was told that I would need an ultra-sound which could not be done right away due to the tech not being available so my midwife scheduled me a 2:00pm sonogram at the hospital which would allow me to go home, have lunch with the boys and leave the boys to nap while David could stay home with them.  He had to leave for work a little after 3 so I planned to just be back by then -- little did I know, I would return 48 hours with a princess in hand.

While driving to the hospital, I began to feel regular contractions. Throughout registration and as I sat in the waiting area of the radiology department, the contractions increased in intensity and frequency so much that the receptionist became concerned.  I used a phone app to time contractions and they were coming every 1-2 minutes at one point and lasting just over a minute.  During my sonogram, the tech could not get a good reading whatsoever due to the uterine wall tightening and growing hard with each contraction.  She became nervous also, telling me not to deliver in there, that she would not be ready. I knew I wasn't ready to deliver though wasn't convinced yet that I'd be in labor as I had been having frequent episodes of intense contractions within the past 3 weeks leading to that day, but they would dwindle out after a couple of hours causing more frustration..so I was trying not to get my hopes up yet deep inside -- I was hopeful, hopeful that it was a Friday and a great day to go into labor (Ideal for my family and a Sign as my other two sons were also both born on weekends- Josiah on a Sunday evening and Daniel on a Saturday morning).  

Up to this point, I had a very specific prayer in regards to my labor and delivery: 1) I wanted to labor and deliver on a weekend so that David wouldn't have to take off too many days from work and so that my mom and sisters could possibly make it for the birth as they had previously taken time off to be with me 1-2 weeks ago during the actual due date just in case I did deliver.  They have a 4-6 hour drive so could leave Friday after work and be with me and our family to help out with the boys for the weekend.  2) I prayed for a quick "active" labor (4 hours or less would be nice), 3) Easy-labor "no complications, no interventions" 4) Healthy baby "above all, a full, healthy baby who arrives unharmed, well oxygenated and just healthy" 5) Healthy mama - that I would be and feel as good as one can expect, No ripping, tearing or medical interventions needed to keep me alive so to speak. 6) I wanted to have a water-birth, to experience what I had researched to be the smoothest and most comfortable type of natural birthing that helps the baby come out easier and isn't as shocking for the baby since they go from water in the womb to warm water in a tub before emerging out of the water and into their mama's loving arms! I really really wanted and hoped for a waterbirth!  -- Perhaps this was a lot to ask God for--but I've read and heard of such births and believed that God would give me one too!

So, after the ultrasound which didn't get great results due to the constant contractions I felt, the radiologist tech called my midwife to give her the results and my midwife, CW decided that it was time and asked to speak with me on the phone saying "Ok, You're getting your wish! I need you go go upstairs to the 5th floor Birthing Center and check-in---you're gonna have your baby! I'll meet up up there soon to check on you".  Excited, I hung up and got my belongings, called David and told him I'd be checking-in and to just wait at home til I give him a call once I was settled in the birthing center room.  I didn't want him to hurry over, only to sit and wait.  He agreed and told me he would feed the boys dinner then take them over to our friends' house who agreed to have them both over if we needed.  I then texted my mom and sisters, letting them know that I was checking-in and will be having the baby soon.  At the post-due date appointment that morning, my midwife CW had discussed with me that if the sonogram showed inconsistent readings, then I would be a good candidate for induction - with pitocin (which is what I had with both my previous labors).  I was determined not to be induced this time and wanted since I wanted a waterbirth, I did not want to be tied down to any machine giving me pitocin.  So as I ventured up the elevator to the birthing center within the hospital, I asked God again--please, let my contractions be "real" and let this "be it" - "I want to experience natural labor and not have to be induced--but i'm so excited to meet our girl and may just ask for intervention if it means I get to hold her sooner so move quickly please cause I'm so anxious" (my prayer went something like that---how bold was I to ask God for that?!)

I was so happy at the check-in to see a good friend of mine, who is a labor and delivery nurse there and helped to deliver our first son Josiah. She however was leaving by 7PM and it was 5PM at this point so I highly doubted that she would still be there but made a comment that perhaps she would meet our baby in the morning when she returned at 7AM.  Another nurse walked me to a room (one of the newly renovated ones with a hot tub) and got me situated.  I basically hung out in the room for an hour and a half, having contractions and watching cable TV until David arrived just before 7PM-just in time to say hi to our nurse friend as she left for the day.  The hospital served dinner and I ate and just enjoyed time with David, taking pictures in the room, in the bathroom, taking belly shots and enjoying eachother -- it kind of felt like a date to be honest since the boys weren't there and we were in a new environment :) 

Our midwife finally arrived around 9PM and checked me, I was only 3cm dialated!! How I longed to be at least 6 or 7 cm since several hours had passed of regular contractions.  She stood and talked with David and I for a bit and verified our birthing plan with us then said she would be back around midnite as she was going to assist with a C-section and try to get a 2-hour nap just in-case we  wouldn't sleep.  Meanwhile, my mom and sisters after receiving my text message (around 4PM), finished their job shifts and were en route to the hospital (4 hour drive for my mom and 5 1/2 for my sisters).  I was so grateful that they were coming and just hoped babygirl would arrive soon after they did so that we could all get some rest.  

MORE to come:

Funny things Josiah says Part !

If you follow my facebook, you've probably read a few of the things my newly 3-year old says.  I took a little time to write a few of them down but wanted to make sure I keep better track of it.  The innocence of a child is so precious.  The constant need for a child to know the answers to "Why?", "How come?" and need to ask numerous questions is all a part of learning and a part of their development.  David and I make it a point to always answer those questions honestly.  This has been a challenge at times but as David says, it will be worth it in the end when he realizes that we always told him the truth, never lied to him --even when it hurt.  (hoping we don't have to answer some tough questions in the near future) 


With that, here are a few of his most recent sayings:
July 2011/26 months - me: Josiah, where did you get your intelligence from? mami or 
                                   papi?"
                                   Josiah: "God"\


January 2012/31 mos - So David and I were trying to figure out the cause of Daniels whining when
                                                Josiah holds his arms out and says "I think he wants me!!!" :) #precious


June 2012/37 months - while walking through a park we see a lady wearing a hijab "head
                                    scarf typical in Muslim culture" and Josiah points to her and states 
                                    "Mami, it's Mary!!"


                                   - David and I listening through the sound monitor to my 3-year old saying "Jesus,
                                               will you help me not be scared?" (as he lays in his bed) #melts #my #heart #prayer


                                                 - Mami, are you my best friend?   (me: of course I am), Josiah "no, but i'm your
                                                 little boy" 


July 2012//38 months - Josiah " Papi, did you kill Goliath?"
                                    David "".....this is the perfect opportunity to take credit like many
                                    fathers do (looking at me)......(turns to Josiah), no, Josiah, I did not kill 
                                    Goliath, that was another David"
                                    ...then David proceeded to remind Josiah about the story of David's love
                                    for God :) #saturdays #familydinner #conversation

It is early July and as tthe boys lay aslseep in their beds I reminisce on how fast this year has flown by.
Daniel will be turning 1 year old in just a few days, I remember walking at this time,,walking everywhere hoping to induce labor...tomorrow marks what would have been my due date, July 7th, or shall I say a year since.....how I remember those days walking in the heat along the rail trail just a mile from my house.

Also, 6 years ago this week, I met my husband......there was a Firework show tonite in Nutter Fort, WV where we were at for a worship-prayer night.  As David was leading in worship, I stood upstairs with the boys who were getting very tired...we had the perfect view from teh church 2nd floor window of a huge firework show that the city of Nutter Fort was putting on...eating grapes and goldfish crackers, I reminisced on how 6 years ago, under a firework lit sky I was secretly crushing on David :)

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Santa Clause - what we tell our boys

..so far though, Josiah doesn't know much about Santa Clause and from what we know, does not believe in Santa Clause (actually, he was never really around Santa Clause because David insisted that he never wanted to celebrate Mr. Clause) though I did share about St. Nicholas as a man who was very generous and whom is celebrated during Christmas time for being a nice man who helped give food and gifts to the poor as God has commanded which is a symbol of the greatest Christmas gift of all- Jesus' birth.